Stopping

Life's most import skill.

Hello Readers!

I’d like to take a minute to just say that writing this blog has been a pleasure. If you are relatively new to this blog, I thoroughly encourage you to read through these posts from the beginning at a lackadaisical pace. The Table of Contents is there to help you organise your crepuscule.

If you’re a mobile device reader, I also encourage you to check out the substack app. You’ll have access to the audio guide feature, you’ll see occasional notes from me, and you’ll be able to ask me questions in the chat section. This is all here to support your grand investigation into whatthefuck, so feel free to use it and spread the word!

On to Stopping!!!!

HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop is a big word. You’ll find it where you least expect it!

When we first hear this word as kids, it could come with a variety of intentions.

Stop! The stove is hot, don’t touch it.

Stop! The floor is lava!

The former would be delivered with a rather severe intent. I don’t know about you, but if I heard this as a kid, I would freeze on the spot. I may not stiffen around any joints, but I would be on alert until I figured out that all I have to do is not touch an inanimate object.

This would have been a very different situation had I seen a copper head snake in the yard… stopping would’ve turned into running away about 10 feet and yelling.

If the floor is lava, I only would have stopped for a moment before assessing the situation and jumping up onto the couch for safety.

When it comes to using the Alexander Technique, the quality of stopping that we are talking about is the one that most readily allows us to learn.

This does not mean that I want you to imagine you’re at the library learning Spanish.

This does not mean that I want you to hold your breath and concentrate.

This does not mean that you are to freeze in place.

This does not mean that you are secretly screamingly wanting to feel like all is right in the world and if you put on a good show and don’t say anything things will really eventually be all better.

The type of stopping we’re talking about is the stopping of having an agenda; the stopping of having a fixed goal in mind that MUST be achieved or MUST be analysed so that you can ABSOLUTELY KNOW how to FIX IT.

This kind of stopping is tricky. It’s easier if everything in your life is great, but then the importance, simplicity, and subtlety of everything could be lost on you.

The art of stopping is a lifetime’s practice and is foundational to the Alexander Technique. FM Alexander called this Inhibition and he used it as a tool to bridge the space between thought and reaction. Once you get a glimpse of this space, it becomes much easier to explore your options in it.

This space begins to feel like a door that is slightly ajar. The purpose of your lie downs is to stop and see this space. The paradox of your lie downs is that if you try to make this happen, you will fail.

You can’t make paint dry but you can watch it dry!

Agnostically Stopping

I’ve used the metaphor of the paint drying for one specific reason. No one associates watching paint dry as particularly interesting.

We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘Stop and smell the roses’. But when I see folks talk about this as something that is important to do in life, it becomes loaded with syrupy wistfulness. To me, it feels like they’re attempting to force inner peace upon themselves by sucking in the fumes.

Like they’re literally huffing internal salvation.**

When I think about watching paint dry, it’s only happened for me after I’ve painted a wall and I want to see how the job is coming along. This moment occupies this odd time in life where my attention is required, but there’s absolutely nothing that I can do.

This time is mildly interesting because I’m observing the quality of my previous work. If I see that I missed a spot ( s t o p ), I give it a touch of paint. When I no longer see missed spots, I continue watching. I’ll hang pictures and move furniture when the paint is dry.

Stopping vs Pausing

Inhibition is a stop, not a pause. When you pause an audio track, you no longer hear the music. But, there’s an expectation that you will continue to hear the music exactly where you left off once you hit that pause button again. Hitting the stop button has a quite different effect in terms of the listeners expectation.

Stopping implies that the listener will either walk away from listening to music, pick a new track to listen to, or play the track again. The listener has not decided their future course of action.

So stop knowing your future course of action and you’ll be well on your way to actually smelling the paint dry.***

Get In Touch

If you’re in NYC, you may learn more about my private teaching practice at johndalto.com.

If you’d like to book any lesson time with me, you can find my booking link here.

**This is not meant to be a total dig at people who enjoy flowers! Smell them however you like AND you can and should forget about the Technique and this post when you do it!

**Wait….which metaphor was I on?